"My sacrifice, O God, is a contrite spirit"

Today is the First Friday in Lent, the Readings for Mass spoke about fasting. I tend to get stressed out about depriving myself of something. I'm all like "ah man, is this penitential enough?" And then it turns into a whole fixation about being "penitential" rather than doing for God and growing closer to Him (which is kind of the point). 


"Thus says the Lord GOD:
Cry out full-throated and unsparingly,
lift up your voice like a trumpet blast;
Tell my people their wickedness,
and the house of Jacob their sins.
They seek me day after day,
and desire to know my ways,
Like a nation that has done what is just
and not abandoned the law of their God;
They ask me to declare what is due them,
pleased to gain access to God.
“Why do we fast, and you do not see it?
afflict ourselves, and you take no note of it?”
Lo, on your fast day you carry out your own pursuits,
and drive all your laborers.
Yes, your fast ends in quarreling and fighting,
striking with wicked claw.
Would that today you might fast
so as to make your voice heard on high!
Is this the manner of fasting I wish,
of keeping a day of penance:
That a man bow his head like a reed
and lie in sackcloth and ashes?
Do you call this a fast,
a day acceptable to the LORD?
This, rather, is the fasting that I wish:
releasing those bound unjustly,
untying the thongs of the yoke;
Setting free the oppressed,
breaking every yoke;
Sharing your bread with the hungry,
sheltering the oppressed and the homeless;
Clothing the naked when you see them,
and not turning your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your wound shall quickly be healed;
Your vindication shall go before you,
and the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer,
you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!"
Isaiah 58: 1-9

This was more about what is to be done rather than what is not to be done, making the focus to give rather than what to do without. Less focus on "me" and more about "other", ultimately, Christ. Focusing on another lends itself to depriving the self of what it wants for the sake of a higher good. I am NOT saying that giving stuff up for Lent is a bad thing. If you're anything like me the giving up part becomes the focus and Christ takes the back-burner. The purpose of Lent is to bring Christ to the front. Focusing on "what I'm to do without" is just another way of making "me" the focus. If that is what happens through fasting, how is it any different from all the other days and times of the year? Except this time you're just more pissed off because you're not getting what you want. This is just another way, perhaps a more dangerous way, of becoming prideful. It's a slippery slope. It becomes tantalizing to "declare to God what is due to you" just like the people were doing in Isaiah. You become worthy. That, my friends, is not what Lent is about. There is no way to buy God's affection or be worth heaven other than having a relationship with God (because, hint: you're not doing it). The point is and always will be Christ and Christ is love. So get your fast on, but do it with the mind of Christ, not of yourself. Lent is about renewing Christ's reign over your life not getting control in a whole new way.

PAX CHRISTI!